January 2012
33 posts
I’ve received an E-mail from Romano today. I can’t wait till he comes back to the States to spend time with me. I told him a lot about Shin and I’m so excited to have 2 guy friends to hang out with now. I’m going to force them to get their nails painted and all those fun stuff. Ohohoho. I hope they don’t fight. He said he got some stuff from Thailand for me but he...
December 2011
40 posts
Things I want to do in 2012: I will cross them out when I succeed :)
Grow my hair out.
Take the train to an unlikely destination.
Add dresses to my closet. (and actually wear them, of course heh.)
Take lots of film photos and polaroids. Lots.
See you.
Get another tattoo.
Go to California.
Visit New York more often.
Get a (big) bookshelf and start filling it up.
Attend a big concert.
...
2011:
I met new people
I lost friends
I fell in love
I rode trains
I got lost
I still am
My day with Shin Park.
Today, Shin came to the salon and just kinda chilled with me. It’s my second time hanging out with him. Everyone at work calls him the flower boy. He asked me to paint his nails pink and he was serious but I refused. He’s coming back tomorrow for black though. He had a hat on and I asked him where he got it and he said Claire’s. I don’t think that he knows its for girls. He...
slept in.
made lots of tea.
went on a walk.
got take out sushi (on christmas. win.)
explored flickr (which i like more than tumblr.)
became frustrated with fruit ninja.
trimmed hair.
did laundries.
ate leftover jjajangmyun.
watched all 9 episodes of New Girl.
think of you.
The little things I did today. The little things that makes me happy.
I sometimes want to temporarily die. I want to quietly crawl into bed and turn off my existence for just a moment. To forget all my troubles and turn off my aching heart.
It’s okay, for this earth is round. Even when people drift apart in opposite directions, if they are meant to be, they will find their ways back to each other again. I’ll meet you halfway on the other side.
1112pm:
Sometimes, I wish that I still cried in front of you.
Sometimes I wish that we were better. I wish that amidst all the arguing and silences filled with “maybe-it-is-my-fault”, all of time that progresses to calm our angry hearts— I wish we’d stop the world like we used to and you’d kiss me mid-sentence or mid-scream. Sometimes I wish you’d kiss my face hard and clean and I could speak...
I don’t want to talk to anyone today. Or tomorrow. Or forever.
1 tag
Reminder to myself.
I didn’t walk for graduation and I’ve transferred high schools 3 times. Up until high school, I’ve had no friends. In freshman year, girls in my gym class used to bully me for liking girls and they’d avoid changing in front of me like I was some kind of a monster. I’ve gotten into fights with 3 boys and was suspended to the point where I almost had to stay back. I was...
I am tired throughout the days. But I can’t sleep at night. So with a tired soul, I lay in my bed and I think. I think of a million things at a time. Many thoughts makes me sad. Some things I wish for, but will never happen. Things I wish I never said and could have done. And when the morning comes, I can’t tell if I am physically or emotionally Exhausted. But I feel like my whole life...
I think that the most admirable people are the ones with the most embarrassing stories. The most beautiful people are the ones with the ugliest scars. The most humble people are the ones who’ve had the greatest loss. Until you know what it’s like to be in last place, you won’t know how great it feels just to be in 2nd place. And once you’ve learned to appreciate your spot,...
Somewhere in the deepest, darkest, most hidden part of her, there lies an entity of its own that — every now and then — takes over the very best of her. It cries for her attention and it claws at her inner flesh. It sends earthquakes to her heart and rainfall to her eyes. But no one knows it exists in her. That it lives in her. That it kills her from within. She keeps it to herself, hidden from...
And the snow, my God the snow, how terrifyingly rejuvenating it is to have sheets of ice melt on the base of your skin. Haunting, isn’t it? That no matter how cold we feel inside, we know that we’re warm enough to melt snowflakes.
1 tag
“b tl b tl” ♫
More than meets the eye.
There are more than 2 million working parts in your eyes. For the work that it needs to do, the eyes are 100 times stronger than is required. Your eyes will focus on 50 things per seconds and process 36,000 bits of information an hour. It can see 500 different shades of gray. 50% of your brain involves your eyes. Your retina contain 120 million rods to help you see better at night. Night vision....
The boy who cried wolf.
How many times are you planning on running away and disappearing? Because even when people run after you to look for you, even when they miss you, they have their own lives to deal with. Sad, but true, people get over things. They get over you. So it doesn’t matter if you let them find you or stay hiding just so they’d miss you. One day, with you there or not, they will stop missing...
If I meet myself, I wouldn’t know whether if I should give myself a hard punch to the face or embrace my smallness into my own arms. I am often too stubborn and too often impulsive. I act upon reflexes and never do I sit down and think of consequences, not even when others warn me. I probably live for it. I live to hurt and be hurt. I probably avoid all things normal. Like a pond with no...
The amount of stupidity that surrounds me is unbearable. From the way people speak to their mannerism. Sitting here with heavy eyes, I observe the bodies around me. I hypothesize their actions and motives. Everyone is so shallow that I can’t hear anything coming out of them but echoes. That’s what they do. They echo each other. They all want the same thing and act the same way. I feel...
You make
My toes curl.
My knees quiver.
My fingers twirl.
My hands shiver.
My pulse stop.
My lungs freeze.
My heart drop.
Back down to my knees.
Walking out of the library, I held on tight to the center of my jacket. The wind was blowing hard, and even though it was only drizzling, the rain fell even harder. With daggers for every drop, its sharp edge stabbed at my bare face and hands, trying to slice at every inch of my body through an act of hate. I could tell that the sky is angry today. Soaked, I walked into work without looking at...
I am planning on going to Texas next month. Just as I was about to share the news with Neko, she told me that she might go to California with her mother. She told me that she asked her mom if she can fly her to see me too. Her mom is putting it into consideration. That got me so excited. I told her that I want to go to see her instead. We also considered me going to California with them. I...
hanthelion:
I’m just afraid that one day you will find someone better than me and I’ll have to settle for someone less than you.
hanthelion:
Many people behave the way they do because they have that “I have nothing to lose” and “I am young” attitude. If only they knew that it is possible to lose something you’ve never had. That it is possible to lose moments you’ve never experienced. That a mistake is a choice, and that choice can ruin your tomorrows. Maybe then would they be more careful with themselves and their loved...
1 tag
The girlfriend didn’t notice her boyfriend checking me out because she was checking me out as well. My mom witnessed the whole thing. Good game.
You make me feel so warm inside that I don’t even need blankets to sleep at night.
I like working in Saturdays because mothers would usually bring their daughters along. They’d have matching blonde hairs or sometimes brown and what not. It’s so adorable. Today, a girl hugged me and she had the biggest smile on her face because I drew butterflies on her nails. The mom looked at me with such a heartwarming smile. It reminds me of working at the cafe when I used to do a...
I want to sit at park benches with you. I want to count stars with you. I want to take photographs of you. I want to sing in the car to/with you. I want to get into small fights with you. I want to break rules with you. I want to build forts with you. I want to surprise you with gifts. I want to see you laugh. I want to see you cry. I want to fill the spaces between our fingers. I want to fill the...
Maybe it was the awkward position that I fell asleep in, but I had a really (unfortunately) vivid nightmare. To make it short, I was hanging out with two friends. I have no idea who they are, but in my dream, we were really close friends. The male had medium black layered hair, and the female had light curly hair. They were both very attractive. I was playing video games with the male and the...
I’m watching my Hong Kong drama, Forensic Heroes 3 and ughhh. They are all so cool. I want to be a cop now. Bang bang bang.
